You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
