I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
