Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
