just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
