Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
