I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
