For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
