I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
