My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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