you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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