Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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