Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
