Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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