And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im six kinds of drunk right now
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
