a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
