jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
