Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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