it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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