Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
