ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
