Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize