if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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