you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Of course I have a pirate flag
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
