She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
