would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
