I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
