what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
