Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We got so high we made milksteak
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
