Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
