Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The struggles of a small town man whore
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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