Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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