turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
