please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
