dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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