I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
