okay pat passed out under dana's car
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
