Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize