Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
