I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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