But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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