I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
