just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
