The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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