I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
