Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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