girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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