i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize