Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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