you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
