physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
