So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
