Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
