i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
