We're facebook friends in real life
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
