he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
