I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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