Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
