well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
