i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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