Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
