I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
