Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
